My time of weakness

Usually I am very strong and independent woman, but I too have my weaknesses! This June my mom will have been in heaven for six years! I can't believe how fast time passes. On the other hand, it feels like she was with me yesterday! Yes, I know, she is now with me all the time, but I'm talking in physical form. I want to be able to give her the biggest hug possible. I want to be able to sit and talk to her, hold her hand, go on a walk with her, tell her I love her...all of these, just one more time! With the thought of Lou Gherig's Disease and mom, my mind races back to the times where she was so dependent on me, like my kids are now. She used to joke that I was watching my two kids (refering to Rylee and her).

Gretchen's birthday is next week, and she has hinted about having a picture like the one I gave Ryan for his birthday (one of us with mom when we were little, and she wasn't sick). So, my search begins. I enjoy going through pictures, it allows me to remenence of the days without sickness. The carefree days with her, that I would take back in a heartbeat! I've looked in all my picture books, dad's books, Gretchen (and Slim's) photo albums, and now I get to the CD...

One of mom's childhood friends, David Sumner, gave the family a CD with a memorial video of mom! David, I'm sure you're not reading this, but if for some reason you get directed to my blog, I thank you from the bottom of heart for this video. Every time I watch it, my life gets put back into perspective! I try my damnedest not to cry, but I do every time! I know what's coming, and I've seen it a hundred times, but I still get choked up! At times my life seems so hectic and crazy, but this video reminds me to thank God for all that have and all that I have been given. I am in good health, and go to all my yearly check ups including my platellets now, so that if, God forbid, I inherit the awful disease mom got, I'll be ready!